(no subject)

[blahflowers]

Any of you that happened to go near a library in the UK (surely all of the beautiful and intelligent Britain-based people on my friends list, right?) over the summer may well have noticed posters up for the Big Wild Read, the summer reading events for 'the kids'. Well, it finished a week or so back and now we have the donkey work of printing up the certificates for those who took part, then over the next month or so we go to school assemblies and give out the certificates to them, those that managed to complete the Read and read six books (six? I did a summer reading challenge when I was a lad where you read dozens!) also get a nasty plastic medal. We've been given bags of medals in preparation, we've been given ribbon to thread through the eyeholes of the medal. We've also been given stern warnings via the Council's H&S department that on no account are we to tie this ribbon round the necks of any child in case of some bizarre chain of events they end up strangled by their Big Wild Read medals.

The medals are about the size of a fifty pence coin, so I'm surprised we're allowed to give out these obvious choking hazards, and what about haemophiliac kiddies getting paper cuts from the certificates? Someone suggested we do the ribbons round the children's wrists (tourniquet danger surely?), but this whole situation is just so Chris Moyles I feel like writing a "Why oh Why" letter to the Daily Mail about it.

Comments

[almagill.livejournal.com]

What about the children? Won't ANYONE think of the children??

Ribbons? RIBBONS? Are you mad??

Pins and a glue gun, that's what you need. With an appropriate 'Application of medal may cause pricking, bleeding or third degree burns' warning to keep the H&S worry warts happy, of course.

Just make sure it's written in an accessible font and that translations into everything from Urdu to Klingon via Esperanto in Braille are available. With subtitles for the hard of thinking.

Sarcastic? Twisted? Bitter? ME??
Well it is a wet Sunday afternoon...

[almagill.livejournal.com]

Wait a nit picking minute!!

BAGS of medals?

And have you been issued with appropriate safety gear and training for lifting heavy bags of medals? And what's your Unions position on you doing manual work? I mean that's assembly line stuff you're into there... clear breach of labour demarcation rules!

Everybody out!


*sigh*

Those were the days.