Random gubbins

Hmmm, I was guarding a bridge last night, Stephen Fry was there but Haus wouldn't introduce me and went off with him himself. Bastard.

Nina took me to a field in the centre of London where the cool kids I knew from school were throwing giant dandelions at one another, then we settled down, still in the field, to watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks on telly, only Jake Shears and Ana Matronic turned up fresh from the recording and caused a ruckus. Someone tried to pull Ana's dress off but she had fake plastic breasts. Jake was trying to tell me how the Scissor Sisters were really a superhero group's day jobs but I got distracted by a dandelion in the face.

... And then I woke up.

And now I'm listening to Elastica.

When you're stuck like glue, Vaseline!
When you need some goo,
When you're stuck like glue, Vaseline!
When you're black and blue, Vaseline!
La la la la la la la la la la
When you're stuck like glue, Give me some...

When you're stuck like glue
If you'd like to woo, Vaseline!
La la la la la la la la la la
If it's hot like you, Give me some,
Do you need a clue, I want some
Vaseline, Vaseline, Vaseline,
Vaseline, Vaseline, Vaseline.

Oh, and:

No need to whine, boy,
Like a wind-up toy you stutter at my feet,
And it's never the time, boy,
You've had too much wine to stumble up my street.
Well it isn't a problem,
Nothing we can't keep between the sheets,
Tell me you're mine love,
And I will not wait for other bedtime treats.

Is there something you lack,
When I'm flat on my back,
Is there something that I can do for you?
It's always something you ate,
Or it's something you hate,
Tell me is it the way that I touch you?
Have you found a new mate,
And is she really great,
Is it just that I'm much too much for you?
Oh, oh oh , ouah oh ah

Don't feed me a line, boy,
I can hear that voice you use upon the phone,
And there's no need to be coy,
That is something you can do upon your own.
Well it isn't problem, nothing we can't solve so just relax.
Am I on the wrong train, love,
And will I have to tie you to the tracks?

Is there something you lack,
When I'm flat on my back,
Is there something that I can do for you?
It's always something you ate,
Or it's something you hate,
Tell me is it the way that I touch you?
Have you found a new mate,
And is she really great,
Is it just that I'm much too much for you?
Oh, oh oh , ouah oh ah
I really want you to
Oh, oh oh , ouah oh ah
I really want you to
Oh, oh oh , ouah oh ah

I love that phonetic spelling.