blahflowers: (Jiving Girl)
Traffic Blocking, Abbey Road

As someone who walks everywhere I naturally regard motorists in London as bastards but at Abbey Road I had to have some sympathy for them, as clueless Beatles fans from around the world come to block traffic so they can take their poxy picture of their mates copying that album cover. To be fair, some people were considerate and waited for there to be no traffic, but others just felt it was their right to get in every-ones way. Ever helpful, I have two possible solutions.

The first one is more complex, it involves changing the rules in Parliament to grant an exemption to the crossing in Abbey Road so that, on approaching it, a driver is entitled to put their foot down and drive into the people and will not be prosecuted for any crime. Any Beatles fans that come to Abbey Road from around the globe will soon learn they can either not inconvenience people or they can risk death. After a couple of years we will have done our bit to help get rid of some of the more stupid people in the world. At that point we should get the Justin Bieber of the day to release an album with a cover of them copying the Abbey Road cover. That should refresh things again.

The second is simpler but funnier. Either replace the zebra crossing with a pelican crossing or just move the zebra crossing about 300 yards up the road so it's not the original any more. Set up a 24 hour camera to watch fans having coronaries.
blahflowers: (Default)
I'm still able to log in to Comics Village...

Phil Hall: Seneth Somed: Good ideas Phil, but they don't go far enough. I'd suggest you also require a retinal scan to log in, and the sign-up should require faxing a copy of your official ID and birth certificate to the webmaster.

Actually, that's exactly what I'd want if it would stop thoroughly cowardly people from being completely what they're not in real life. The Internet is a lot of crappy things, but one of the crappiest is its ability to allow cowards, freaks and sad bastards access to fake IDs to try and inflict hurt and pain on someone else. Fuck, if you're going to do that at least have the guts to do it under your own name. I'd be happy to give my mobile number to some of you cunts, just to prove that I'll gladly call you all a bunch of cunts (almost) in person rather than having to do it via this medium - equally, I'd happily give any information to the owner of a site or forum if they could guarantee that no other wanker on there was hiding behind some fake ID so they can be all big in the trousers or large in the chest!

Some little bitch with piercings, black hair and what she thinks is a 'tude: Well, I won't be crying myself to sleep if I get booted off, I would just point out that my language has been a lot more moderate than yours and, from reading back what's been said, I think I've been a lot more sensible and unemotional than you...

Here, this'll make you laugh... I don't give a fuck about your language :)

'Sensible' and 'unemotional', I'm betting unemotional is what your boy/girl friend thinks while you lay there like a slab of meat as you get fucked. Sensible is probably something you preach but don't practice.

Blah, you're all blah blah blah, darlin', I suggest like Gail you go and get a life :)

Phil Hall: I'm bored with you Seneth and your little friend Ms Blah. And as Simone has obviously done the sensible thing and extracted herself from this thread before it bites her on the arse so badly she can't sit down for a week. I am going to do the same. Be sure to drop into my column: Eat Shit & Die and see me ridicule comics fans yet again - because they're such easy targets ;)

Part One. Part Two.
blahflowers: (Default)
It's all gone a bit 'Kylie Minogue in the DW Christmas Special' in that Dave Sim's comics thread...

Me: Oh Philly, Philly... Your comedy misogyny and fascism does make me laugh. It would almost be worth posting my name and address to see if you followed through on those ridiculously hyperbolic threats but I fear you will have to do with imagining me being abused by rapists, if that's what makes you happy.

Phil Hall: Blah - I'm going to be talking with our webmaster about having you a) removed and b) making it that new members/people who want to post on columns have to submit a pop3 email address rather than a web based one. I've never had to hide behind silly identities to be rude and offensive and I don't see why you should to.

Yes, he's concerned about me being 'offensive' from behind a blanket of anonymity. The worst I've done is call him stupid. The worst he's done, well, you can check the link.

Part One. Part Three.
blahflowers: (Default)
Ouch! Who cranked up the North Wind? I swear I could have walked around in a t-shirt a few days ago, but switch to January and it gets bitter out there.

Talking about bitter, who the crikey is 'Phil Hall'? Here we are, in a thread in the middle of nowhere and I get a masterclass in how to huff and puff and produce the weakest threat in the history of stupid comic webtiffs:

Who the fuck is Blah Flowers? Why do these pathetic morons all have to post under fake names? Glenn can we make it that people have to disclose their real names, because I'd like to bounce this twat around his house for a while; see if he hears a void.

This is why I do my column, for as much of a cunt I am, at least I admit it readily. There are so many self-important smug cunts in comics who for some reason can only be smug and cunty if they hide behind some facade. For all of her fat and ugliness, at least Simone doesn't have to hide, eh Blah? Fucking moron.

And then, once I've stopped laughing checked all the doors and windows are locked because the Big Bad Wolf must surely be outside,

Oh, my apologies Blah. You're a woman... still doesn't stop me wanting to slap you about - stupid bitches need a good slap every so often. You want misogyny, I've got bags full of it, especially to people like you. I'm betting you are lesbian with a penchant for black, piercings and dodgy haircuts...

There is a fucking definite case for the return of fascism, especially if it means that utter wastes of space like you and Gail will be locked up in some big penitentiary with a lot of male rapists - that'll actually really give you something to bleat about.

I presume, as he mixes it up with Gail Simone further up the page, he's someone with previous for sub-Warren Ellis-style rantings. Look how he shows how 'politically incorrect' he is by offering to beat me up, giving thumbs-up to fascism and as for the 'lesbian with a penchant for black, piercings and dodgy haircuts', well, I'll give him two out of four...

Part Two. Part Three.


blahflowers: (Default)

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